Love, Hate, Tolerate: The Lucky and the Luckless

Something which I have been meaning to do for a while, if only for the sheer hell of it. I thought I would rank each team in Major League Baseball according to my personal preferences, as if this means a flying crap. But hey, we all have our vanity, and I'm bored on Saturday night after watching a Rockies win, which equals this staggering work of heartbreaking genius. The Rockies go for the sweep over the Astros, and a 6-3 record on a 9-game, 10-day road trip (well, actually, more like a 10.5 game road trip once you add in all the extra innings vs. the Padres) with Ubaldo Jimenez matching up with old friend Shawn Chacon. And by friend, I really mean, used to kick things and yell while he was haplessly attempting to ''close" games. He went 1-9 as a closer one year, and Hurdle kept trotting him out there. Oy.

Anyway.

The Fortunate Five

1. Colorado Rockies. Anyone who reads this blog needs no explaining as to why my purple-and-black boys top this list. I love them. Too much, I think.
2. Oakland A's. Used to be really into them, am not really so much anymore, but still enjoy watching their games and have a hat autographed by quite a few members of the team (at least circa 2006).
3. St. Louis Cardinals. Was thrilled when they won the 2006 World Series, have also cooled on them a little recently, but they still have Adam Wainwright. I love Adam Wainwright.
4. Milwaukee Brewers. They merit a spot this high on the list for all their help last September, which they squelched the Padres for the last two regular-season games in order to force The Tiebreaker. Tony Gwynn Jr. mentions that the Rockies themselves have thanked him for corking that triple off Hoffman, and I dunno, I've never found anything inherently loathable about the Brew Crew. I mean, it was a total sham that Braun got the ROY, but that was the writers' fault, not his. Also, Milwaukee and Colorado seem to be on good terms, and I like that.
5. New York Mets. I know, I know. It's embarrassing to have to even admit it. I am not a Mets fan, and when going to games at Shea, frequently root for them to screw up if only because the reaction from the actual Mets fans around me is always amusing. (Booing being a recreational sport in New York). But aside from Coors, I've been to the most games at Shea, and out of the two teams in my adopted hometown, they're the one I don't hate, detest, loathe, and wish to vanish into thin air. Not that I'm talking about anyone in particular, of course. But I have a pair of good friends who are Mets fans, we go to games together, and always have a great time. It was freezing the last two times we went (earlier this week) and I steadfastly stuck it out, for a team that I can take or leave (mainly because I just love baseball). So, oddly enough, one of the East Coast darlings actually does earn a relatively high spot on this list. Whether it's for them or not, I don't know, but there you go.

The Tolerable Ten

6. Cleveland Indians. Play hard and always seem to be good, which would be annoying if I was a fan of a team in the AL Central aside from them. Also, my parents swear up and down I used to go to Indians games with my sisters and a family friend (we used to live in Ohio) but I don't remember at all. Also, I have strong feelings about The Jake having its name changed to "Progressive Field" -- what a crock. I still wish we'd played the Indians in the Series last year, mainly because we'd probably have won.
7. Seattle Mariners. Lookout Landing, a top Mariners blog, is absolutely hysterical. I'm serious, it is absolute comic genius, I read it just to laugh, and the Mariners commercials (a tradition) are always funny as well. (You can check them out online). All that adds up to a high spot for the Caffeineheads.
8. Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Even though their insistence on being called the "Rays" now is mildly nettling (I therefore always call them by their proper name, heh) they remind me somewhat of the Rockies, Evan Longoria is good friends with Tulo, and any team that has a chip on its shoulder for the Yankees (aside from the Red Sox....) is good by me.
9. Florida Marlins. Poor Marlins. You can't really hate them. A-Rod makes more than their entire team, and any time anyone good shows up, Loria hauls them off and buys more children under 21 to staff the Baby Fish. Also, I rooted for them in the 1997 Series as a spratling of nine tender years, and it was a lot of fun. (Wow, that was a long time ago).
10. Minnesota Twins. They have a god-awful stadium (although that may soon be remedied, their new park may be built without a roof.... which equals April baseball in Minneapolis outdoors, which equals oof). Still, their players are likable, Justin Morneau should be commended for nabbing the AL MVP in 2006 ahead of That Man In Pinstripes, and if they ever get Francisco Liriano healthy, they could have Santana all over again.
11. Pittsburgh Pirates. I know almost nothing about the Pirates except that Ian Snell once thought the Rockies were stealing signs and therefore threatened to start beaning them. It didn't happen, and it makes me think that it was just Snell being Snell -- i.e. totally crazy. Also, the Pirates beat the Rockies 3 of 4 in August last year. That hurt. But they are the Pirates. Success is short-lived, therefore why bother hating them?
12. Cincinnati Reds. They have the pieces in place to be very good in a few years, but then went and sent that all to pot by hiring Dusty Baker. Cueto, Votto, Bailey, Bruce, etc. should have Cincinnati fans thinking that their days of doormatting it in the Central may be coming to an end. Downside: Say goodbye to the right arms of Arroyo and Harang.
13. Toronto Blue Jays. They swept the Rockies to start that horrible roadtrip that didn't happen (you know, the 1-9 one... OOF... back to repressing). But Dustin McGowan and Shaun Marcum are a strong starter duo, and hey, I always kind of pull for anyone in the East squashed beneath the 800-lb gorillas. You know, Thing 1 and Thing 2.
14. Washington Nationals. They try so hard. And then they fail. But it's kind of cute/pathetic to watch them giving it another brave stab anyway.
15. Texas Rangers. They earn this spot mainly on the strength of C.J. Wilson, their eccentric blue-gloved lefty reliever. In case I have not told you this recently, he is amazing.

The Dubious Decade

16. Houston Astros. Seriously, who likes the Astros? They have terrible management, they had Roger Clemens a few years, they went to the Series in 2005 and then boffed it all up. Don't hate them, but seriously, the Astros? Whatever.
17. Atlanta Braves. Nobody likes Chipper Jones, including Chipper Jones, but don't tell him that. We can save his existential crisis for when it would be more useful.
18. Detroit Tigers. I have to say, watching the Tigers fall flat on their faces out of the gate, after everyone had pre-emptively anointed them the AL Champs following their acquisition of Willis and Cabrera, was pretty damn satisfying.
19. Baltimore Orioles. The Orioles are so bad. And no matter how well they've started off this year, I am sure they'll realize that and go back to their usual climes of TEH FAIL.
20. Chicago White Sox. Have THE most annoying broadcasters in all of baseball, and it was more fun when they were cursed too. Although they do suck again, so cool.
21. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Stupid name. You are not the Dodgers. And you play in Disneyland. Bugger off and get some Mickey Mouse ears.
22. Los Angeles Dodgers. I don't precisely hate them, but there are certainly no fond feelings for them either. Their fans always leave early to "beat the traffic," they spend more than everyone in the West and don't have a whole lot to show for it, and Nomar? Seriously? Whatever. The Helton homer off Saito last September 18th was a defining moment of my life. Sheerly amazing. And then we swept them in four, right in the middle of the streak. Good times.
23. Arizona Diamondbacks. Purple Row and AZ Snakepit's posters have a good relationship with each other, and enjoy bantering and discussing their teams. I am good friends with several Arizona fans from there, and the Dbacks are much like the Rockies -- a team of young, talented, genuinely nice guys. That said, they are our biggest division rival and are getting annoyingly good -- sheez, Slytherin, lose a few. Plus they have Eric Byrnes and danced on our field like it was a big deal when they won the West. We got you back in the NLCS, suckers. (Although it is true I am trying to expunge details of our early-season meetings thus far from my scarred psyche).
24. Kansas City Royals. They played us last June for one of the most aggravating series imaginable, which Rockies Nation as a whole pretends does not exist, and always seem to play like the Worldbeaters instead of the Turfeaters against us. AND we have to play them again this year. Oh brother.
25. San Francisco Giants. They only earn this spot because I couldn't decide if I hated them or the Phillies more, and decided it was the Phillies. Nonetheless, the Giants richly deserve all the fail that comes to them.

The Terrible Tier

26. Philadelphia Phillies. Overhyped, overrated, and Jimmy Rollins. Swept in the NLDS by us, after all the pundits sagely figured this team (East Coast, remember, therefore better!) would sweep US. Revenge is sweet. Go cry in your beer, you bunch of hooligans who constitute "fans" in the "City of Brotherly Love."
27. San Diego Padres. Yep, the hate is pretty epic here. You know what? It doesn't matter if Holliday touched the plate, we still beat you. And then we beat you again in 22 innings. And we went to the playoffs because you blew chunks. Take THAT.
28. New York Yankees. It's actually pretty hard to decide who goes where for the last three spots on this list, since I hate the Yankees, Red Sox, and Cubs equally -- which is to say, with the force of an exploding star? Let's just say I find nothing at all lovable, likable, tolerable, or even mildly dislikable about this band of overexposed prima-donnas. In fact, you might say I hate them. That doesn't even sound strong enough, but you know what I mean.
29. Chicago Cubs. I asked a friend if the Cubs or Red Sox should go in the last slot on this list. His response: "The Red Sox. At least the Cubs have the decency not to win the World Series." Which I think is true, and the only thing keeping the Small Bears out of the cellar (hey, they'll get there on their own, given enough time. Cubsuck is a law of the universe -- it will be a constant). I hate their fans (especially their fans) the fact they're now a big-market and still-shitty team, and the fact that it's still "trendy" to root for them when they're nothing but a bunch of giant losers. Also, their fans. Did I mention their fans? Here's to another century of Cubs futility.
30. Boston Red Sox. I have hated the Red Sox for all of my career as a baseball fan, whether for one reason or another, and it was made about a hundred times worse by last October. The Red Sox are just evil, there is no other way to put it. There is nothing redeeming about this team. They are the incarnation of the Devil. Should I tell you how I really feel? Die, Red Sox, die.

An Axe From Last October

I just discovered from one of my online acquaintances that this blog was linked from Deadspin last October in the midst of the disastrous four-game series better known as the World Series. Well, the post they evidently linked to was taken down, as it a) offered nothing particularly valuable save my emotional reaction, and b) attracted a bunch of Internet buzzards who were generally eager to laugh at someone else's expense. Which, of course, is the way it goes with sports fans, but I should have guessed that the sudden influx of nasty commentators came from somewhere, as my modest blogging enterprise is usually scarcely enough to merit such distinguished attention. Perhaps the mistake was mine in putting something on the Internet after one of the worst nights of my life as a sports fan, and should have given the wound some time to heal overnight, but I still can't help but be extremely mad that of all the posts I have spent time on for this blog, that one was the one that the Deadspin sophisticates chose to highlight. Yep, I'm sure my misery was very entertaining for that crew, who audition to have the best jaded-cynic comments posted on every entry.

Disclaimer: I usually enjoy reading Deadspin. I get a chuckle out of a lot of their posts, and especially football-wise, it's extremely amusing. I just do wonder as to why they pick that to link to, and why everybody has to take it as their mandate to come over and make it worse. I was struggling pretty badly that October, as last semester in general was extremely hard for me, and I was dealing with a lot of emotional issues that started before the Series and were made worse by it. As my next post attested, I had to give it all up for a while because it was just not something I could deal with in my emotional state the way it was. Depression is something I have started to have to deal with, not necessarily welcomed, but last October's bout with it came at a particularly inopportune time. As my friends can tell you, and as I can tell you, I was pretty much a wreck. I was unhappy, homesick, lonely, isolated, and really struggling while 1600 miles from home, made worse by the ugly results of the Series, and... yeah, I am still angry about this, especially since it was bothering me since before I even knew where all the know-it-alls came from. I removed the offending post and the comments with it, and the result of that was that I banned anonymous users from making comments on the blog. Flame wars are fine elsewhere, but not here; that's simply not what this blog is for. I'm fine with feedback, not trolling.

As for all the Red Sox partisans that came along to sneer at me for being such a fool for even daring to support the Rox: I am a fan of my team, the same as all you. What am I supposed to do, fly the white flag pre-emptively and sigh, "Oh no, the mighty East Coast juggernauts are going to destroy my overmatched Munchkins? I can't believe I'm so foolish as to think this small-market Western team that's just won 21 of 22 can have any chance against these ESPN darlings! Oh... the Sox are going to win in three, the Rockies are just completely doomed, it was all a fluke, Red Sox Nation 4Ever!" No. You believe, I believe, we all know how it turned out, you were justified, yadda yadda yadda. You're certainly not doing much for your perception as some of the most loutish fans in baseball. If you want to come along and engage in some friendly debate, I'm always up for it. If you want to troll, you will find your comments deleted. 18-1.

One of the anonymous posters did have the grace to come back later and apologize, which I am grateful for. And since this is five months later, I doubt that anyone who came here then will see this now, but it still bothers me and I figured I wanted to air some of my left-over resentment from that. If you by some chance HAVE come here from Deadspin, or anywhere else, after the long-past history of the 2007 World Series, welcome. You will find various interesting featurettes, most of which showcase my probably inaccurate predictions, insane love of my team, and general anticipation for 2008. Most of which, remarkably, are probably sentiments you share. I am, remarkably, more than a bad reaction to a bad game, and if you'd like to look around, do so. Thanks.

Goodnight, Season

Congratulations to the 2007 World Champion Boston Red Sox. That sentence stings to type, but it's true. At the end of the day they were the better team -- they pitched better and hit better, and that's the formula that wins you championships. Our Cinderella story wasn't enough to get us over the hump over a team that's us in 2 or 3 years -- a finished product with the right mix of experience and youth. Perhaps the layoff did affect us after all, as I do not think we played the way we are capable of playing, but it's true that the Red Sox were just better.

This Series hurt and wasn't much fun to watch. I can't say I enjoyed it. But nothing can take away from what we did this year, not even slavering Sox fans and mediots claiming this proves their point about the superiority of the AL. It's still been an almost even trade-off between NL and AL for championships. AL, NL, AL, NL, AL, AL, NL, AL.

How odd it is to love a baseball team. How strange and tender I feel now... just tired, sad, and relieved, slightly hollowed out, in undeniable pain, in relief to have it end, despair of the offseason and hope for next year. Strangely enough, I love the Rockies more than ever, my devotion to them becomes fierce, my love completely untested and part of me forever. Defeat does not break me. The gloating might bother me (as I may have mentioned, the most annoying person on my campus is a Red Sox fan and I do not think that is by accident). Brian Fuentes may have single-handedly killed the last two games for us and it's time for him to be shown the door (once a season-killer, always a season-killer). I've heard tantalizing rumors about us pursuing Ian Snell. And nothing came of it, but that eighth-inning home run by Atkins still made me want to bear his children.

I find myself wondering what it is, over and over, what makes us tick as baseball fans. Pain and pleasure alike have been a big part of October, as is always. We lost the war, but we won this battle; we are the NL champs and nothing can take that away from us. What we did was unprecedented and I look forward to building on it next year. The day after the World Series is like the day after Christmas. Such a letdown... time to bring on the hot stove and see if we can improve upon the pieces we have in place. Our kids have postseason experience and hopefully won't be deer in the headlights. And we didn't choke. While admittedly not playing our best by a long shot, we just ran into a team that was hot at the right time and did the right things.

Let nobody disparage this Colorado Rockies team for how it ended. They were a part of the last game of 2007. They've climbed the peak for the first time, and I don't expect them to be content with mediocrity, now that they've had a taste of rarified air. They will be back. If nothing else, Tulo won't take this.

I love them brutally, so much that it does things like this to me. Next year can't come soon enough. I want to be back there, I hope that what they've done this year will entice others to come as well. The year is over now, I feel very sad and upset about its close, and of course I wish it could have ended differently, but if anything else, this has intensified the deep love that I will and always bear for my Colorado boys.

See you next year, Red Sox. Goodnight, season. Come soon, spring training. The offseason is dark and cold.

Well, Now We Know

And frankly, once the Indians lost Game 5, I wasn't too surprised. They had a chance to close it out at home with their ace on the mound, and choked, then went to Fenway and lost again with their other ace on the mound, and neither of them impressed at all. You just kind of knew the Sox were going to win tonight, no matter how much you hoped otherwise, and well, they did. The Boston Yankees, I should say. Arrogant fans, arrogant jerkwad players, buying up everything they need, no longer the lovable underdog, they're just the Evil Empire redux. May they be pwninated in four.

I'm sure everyone and his brother will pick the Sox in four or five. Hell, I hope they pick the Sox in "three" -- we know how well that worked for the Tigers last year. Because they're the big, bad, AL, because ESPN loves that one of their media juggernauts made it, because they have Josh Freakin' Beckett. Well, anybody bother to check the stats? Seems to me we outscored the Sawx 20-5 at Fenway in June, put a world of hurt on Schilling and Beckett, and took two out of three. See, we've been playing well since BEFORE September.

A few reasons the Rockies are going to rock the Sox:

-- Since May 22, we've had baseball's best record at 79-45; we just had to turn on the afterburners for that final hump into September.

-- We were 21-12 against the AL the past two seasons, a .636 winning percentage, and that was before we were razing everything in our path.

-- The Red Sox play in the AL, sure. They also play in the East. I bet we could have won 96 games if we got to face the Blue Jays, Devil Rays, and Orioles (the first one mediocre, the latter two totally inept) 50 or 60 times a year.

-- The Rockies have lost exactly one game since the middle of September. Why are we going to lose four in a week and a half?

-- We have better speed and defense.

-- The Red Sox aren't equipped to play at Coors. Manny in the cavernous left field? Ortiz at first base? Wakefield's knuckler isn't going to break in the thin air, and Dice-K will be thrown off by pitching at altitude. Let's not tell him about the humidor.

The one problem: the hitting. We have a .242 average in the postseason and we're going to need to turn it on against the Beantown Bombers. Hopefully, the pitching can continue the trend of damping the fuse against high-octane offenses, but the hitting is going to need to bring the sticks. But all year, and especially in October, they've found a way to get it done, however and whenever. National League Champion Rockies sounds surreal enough, but it's not the final stop for the Purple Express. I expect they'll drop the first one against Beckett (but then again, who knows?) then turn on the jets, rip off four, and win the damn thing at home in a game that Denver will always remember.

Rockies in five.

Preseason Preview: Red Sox

Onwards with the short, quick-glance previews. We take on the Red Sox, who I personally do not like, but what hey. How do things stack up in Beantown in '07, one year after a disappointing third-place finish 11 games behind the hated Yankees? Let's take a look-see.

The Boston Red Sox

Rotation
1. Curt Schilling, RHP
2. Daisuke Matsuzaka, RHP
3. Josh Beckett, RHP
4. Tim Wakefield, RHP
5. Jonathan Papelbon, RHP/Matt Clement, RHP/Jon Lester, LHP

Bullpen
1. Julian Tavarez, RHP
2. Joel Pineiro, RHP
3. Mike Timlin, RHP
4. Javier Lopez, LHP
5. Manny Delcarmen, RHP/J.C. Romero, RHP

Lineup
1B Kevin Youkilis
2B Dustin Pedroia
SS Julio Lugo
3B Mike Lowell
RF J.D. Drew
CF Coco Crisp
LF Manny Ramirez
C Jason Varitek
DH David Ortiz

The 500 Word Rundown
The Red Sox like to peddle themselves as the small-market, gritty, more "down to earth" version of the unabashedly big-market Yankees, but the truth is that they're also one of the most profligate buyers in Major League Baseball, and they actually spent more than their rivals this year - on one player. The Sox paid $50.1 million for the right to even talk to prized Japanese right-hander Daisuke Matsuzaka, who doesn't really throw a gyroball, but has All-Star stuff anyway, and then that amount again to actually sign him. They're hoping that the 26-year-old import from the Seibu Lions will upgrade a starting rotation that features still-good but aging Curt Schilling, injury risk Josh Beckett, knuckleballer Tim Wakefield, and phenomenon ex-closer Jonathan Papelbon. Left-hander Jon Lester, if he's recovered from anaplastic large-cell lymphona, better known as cancer, should be in there as well - best wishes to him on the road back from chemotherapy treatments. He was cancer-free in December, but it remains to be seen how he'll slot into a generally strong starting rotation, if he has enough stamina right off the bat, or if he opens the season in the bullpen.

The Red Sox are hoping that ex-Mariner Joel Pineiro can copy Jon Papelbon - maybe it's something about the initials? - and become the closer this season. Pineiro has suffered through a number of rocky years since being drafted high by the Mariners, and the Sox are hoping he can regain some of his vanished form. Mike Timlin should also be in there, along with Julian Tavarez, and the remaining slots may be a battle coming out of Spring Training.

The Red Sox lineup doesn't have quite the firepower that it used to, but still features Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, and Jason Varitek, along with newcomer J.D. Drew. Ramirez is quite simply a headcase and a defensive liability in left field, but is one of the better hitters in the game. David "Big Papi" Ortiz is a machine, especially in clutch situations, and should continue his mashing. Team captain Varitek doesn't have the firepower in his bat that he used to, hitting only .238 last year with 12 homers, but the Sox are hoping that mercurial outfielder J.D. Drew - such of an injury risk that he has clauses built into his contract that regulate pay based on the number of games he plays - can provide more spark. I don't expect that the Sox will unseat the Yanks for the division title - I would be very surprised indeed if that unfolded. Still, I expect that they'll play with a bit more respectability this year than last, and should finish in second place... again.

Projected Finish: 91-70, second place, AL East