Exhausting Updates

Sorry for the interminable hiatus, and in case you're wondering, I didn't suddenly become exempt from the earth's gravitational pull and take a spectacular plunge into space. However, I have been working full-time, and my time in the evening has been used to write my baseball novel, Elysian Fields, or talk to my friends on Instant Messaging, both pursuits which leave little time for bloggery. But since the novel is finished (and I do like it, if I say so myself) I now have time to issue periodic updates upon the state of affairs in Baseball-land. Not that I always want to, as the Rockies repay all my love and devotion by doing things like losing 3 of 4 to the Nationals and getting shut out for 20 innings by one of the worst pitching staffs in the game. At the time of this writing, they have miraculously managed to score a grand total of two runs, but are still trailing 5-2 to the Padres in the opening game of --

Okay, scratch that. Matty Effin' Holliday just cracked his 17th homer of the year to tie the game in the bottom of the eighth, a three-run blast off Scott Linebrink to bring it even at 5-5. This is more runs than the Rockies have scored in three games (cough cough) and it is good to see that they are not meekly trotting off and letting San Diego --

Hahaha, wow. Brandon (Brad Hawpe) with his 18th homer of the year, bumping Colorado ahead 7-5. He couldn't bear to let Holliday have the team homer lead, even for a few minutes. Manny Corpas gets a strikeout, gives up a single, then a forceout, goes 3-0 on Brian Giles, and then makes him look at three straight to end the game. The Rockies pull out a highly improbable win against the Pads in the opening game of the series, a seven-game homestand against chief competitors San Diego and Los Angeles -- a homestand that will prove once and for all if they should harbor playoff ambitions this year, or just be content with finishing over .500. It would be nice not to suck for once, so I think for now I'll be content with that, but if they should put together a Hollywood-schmaltz run and somehow manage to, you know, contend, I won't complain.

Perhaps it is a symbiotic link -- I revive the temporarily defunct blogging, the Rockies score as many runs in one game as they did in ALL of the Washington series (grrr). For the sake of my beloveds, I shall attempt to do so more often, at least until I start a new novel and the sticky m key stops driving me crazy. Ah well.

ANYWAY. As I have said, I have been very busy, and hope to make more time in the future. That said, I have several exciting things to report from the front lines of reality, a puzzling phenomenon that still soaks up far more of my time than I would otherwise appreciate. I'm still working at Starbucks, which is not a bad job but is not, well, baseball -- ah well, I just have to keep myself busy by thinking about it, which is something I do most of the time anyway. Aside from spending too much money and looking forward to getting back to school in September, I am also planning to rendezvous this Saturday, July 28, with a crowd of friends at the Rockies/Dodgers game. It's going to be fun -- me, my sister, and my friends Betsy and A.J. are going to meet up with three other posters from Purple Row, and we have seats seven rows back of the right-field wall, close to Hawpe and definitely not out of the realm of homer-catching possibility. It will have been exactly three weeks since I've been to a game (my last was July 7 against Philly) and it feels like forever. I have a problem. I also (finally!) got a digital camera, so I shall record the insanity that is sure to become contagious when seven die-hard Rox fans get together (seven fans, seven rows back, yeah, yeah, it's a coincidence) and cheer for their team against the Bastards in Blue, more properly euphemized as the Los Angeles Dodgers. No more waiting to develop film and save photos off a CD; it's nice to have and with a memory card I ended up getting for free, it's good for 200 photos.

Also, I am planning two exciting baseball trips for next year. Betsy and I are scheming for her to drive out to New York to pick me up when school ends in May, then have the two of us hit up Yankee Stadium, Shea Stadium, and Cooperstown, probably in something of that order, depending on how the 2008 schedule works out. (We need that now to plan this all, grr). We would then drive back to Colorado from New York, possibly stopping in St. Louis and/or assorted other baseball cities on the way home. If things align accordingly, my friend Justin may fly out from San Diego to join us, which would also be awesome -- three hardcore baseball fans road-tripping it across the country, me fresh off my sophomore year in college and preparing to go abroad to Oxford in the fall. If all the stars line up, 2008 could be the best year of my life to date, which isn't saying much when you're only 19, but hey, it's good to be excited and to have plans.

When I get back home to Colorado, my sister will have graduated from high school, and we're planning a road-trip to California to celebrate. We'll drive to either San Diego or Los Angeles and then up the Pacific Coast Highway to San Francisco, obviously catching a game at every locale possible. If we get REALLY lucky, the Rockies will be making a West Coast swing (why isn't that
'08 schedule out yet??) and we can cheer them on in enemy turf. (Hey, if I can laugh off Shea bleacher creatures, I can take whatever venom the Blue Crew and Laptop Yuppies can dish).

I'm happy. I'm in a good place in my life right now. I have a decent job that's making money to fuel all my planned baseball/educational exploits, I'm enjoying a summer with a baseball team that I love, I have a lot of friends (for the first time in my life) and yet I'm really looking forward to getting back to school this fall. I have a single room (hurray!) which means that I can bedeck it out with tokens of my fanaticism and not have to deal with roommates. I'm looking forward to resuming my studies, want to get back to my happy places in Bronxville, and have planned out which classes I want to take. Some friends and I are planning to hit up Yankees and Mets games in September to make up for the lack of Rockies games, and I really feel as if I'm moving forward with my life at a good speed and I'm where I should be. I am a healthy, well-adjusted person (I really am, despite the conversations that Betsy and I have occasionally, all of which involving me laughing my ass off while squirming and wishing I had never seen some of it. No, I won't tell you the details).

So, if I fail to update regularly (and I'll do my best, given the magic mojo it brought my boys) it's not because I'm dead. It's just because I'm busy.

P.S. Chris Carpenter's one-start season officially came to an end a few days ago when it was announced he'll need Tommy John (not a great surprise, sadly) and will miss the rest of 2007 and part of 2008 as well. That five-year, $65-million contract is looking like less of a bargain and more of an albatross, but you can't plan for injuries and stuff like this is just part of the game. In conclusion, I suck at predicting things.

Little Drops of Poison

[warning -- I get a little heated below]

The Terrific Trifecta occurred last night the first time all year, or, in other words, all three of my teams won on the same day. Adam managed to bail out the Cards with a little help from his friends -- six innings, seven hits, two runs, an economic 88 pitches for Wainwright, a clutch two-run double from Pujols, and an inning and a third of stellar relief work from Isringhausen all added up to a 3-2 win for the Redbirds. However, they're already behind 7-0 to the Astros today after Kip Wells got bombed, and it's really looking more and more as if the Dave Duncan magic touch has not been able to resuscitate him from his Pirates suckitude -- he had one or two serviceable starts and then slid down the crapper. The Cardinals are lurching and stuttering along, trying to find just enough offense to win, but the bats with the exception of Albert's have gone quiet again and the rotation is suspect. While I did enjoy their win yesterday, I'm trying to fight off a feeling that those may be few and far between. All I can say for them is that they're going to have to find some way to figure this out before they disappear in the Central for the rest of '07.

And.... oh.... FUCKING. HELL. My worst-case scenario has officially come true. It was just announced that Carpenter needs surgery to remove the bone chips in his elbow and will be out up to three months. There were murmurings that he was about to come back, too. I don't know what to say, but this absolutely sucks. I think I'm going to call the division for someone else right now -- I don't know who, the Brewers could be a smoke-and-mirrors outfit, I doubt very much the Cubs will do it, the Astros are pretty feeble as well -- but as much as it pains me to say it, these Cardinals are absolutely lifeless. It's a terrible way to follow up a world championship season, but with your ace out until after the All-Star break, your offense dead in the water, and your morale already crushed, I think this team is about to take a nosedive. Maybe it will convince the front-office brass that they need to address the flaws of a team that did, in fact, only win 83 games last year, and may not even break even this year. I think that loyalty to their scrappy underdogs prevented them from really shaking up the status quo, but they need to be rebuilt. This Cardinals dynasty is done for, now let's ship out the most glaring holes (Taguchi, Wilson, Miles come to mind -- also, Jimmy Edmonds, although a fan favorite and a hardcore gamer, is really on the decline) and wait for '08 with a healthy Carpenter, a more adjusted Wainwright, and Pujols, of course. I'll wait them out, and next year should be better than this one, but.... oy. Oy vey. I think I'll just have to enjoy their wins individually, since they're doing a fine job of wrecking my prediction that they'd be strong enough to repeat.

Gaaah... well, that news just ruined my Saturday. Let's try to move on...

The A's also managed to eke out a win in what is traditionally a terrible month for them, against some antagonists who traditionally, and surprisingly, do bad things to them. The month is May, the team is the Devil Rays, and last night the A's beat both of them on the back of a three-run, ninth-inning, tiebreaking jack from Nick Swisher, who thankfully returned from injury quickly to hoist the A's to victory. Danny Haren turned in another stellar start -- the hairy prodigy leads the AL in ERA at 1.75, his next closest competitor is Tim Wakefield at 2.11 -- but naturally didn't get the win, as he was out of the game by the time Swisher did his thing. Huston Street, who thankfully has regained his freshman-year form and sports a shiny 2.40 ERA, whipped through a tidy ninth inning to seal the deal for the Elephants, 5-2.

Now, a few observations about the A's. For some reason, they're all made of china, and break when the wind blows hard, but this year more so than ever. They got good news yesterday when Mark Kotsay, expected to be out until close to the All-Star break, could instead return to the team around the middle of May, but for every one that stays healthy, three go down, until it's pretty much become an actual curse if you play outfield for Oakland. Ryan Langerhans, Chris Snelling, and Jack Cust are some of the names floating around as Billy Beane desperately attempts to patch the hole in the Titanic. The former two were traded for each other (Snelling being the current representative) and Cust's chief claim to fame is falling down while trying to score the tying run in a Yankees/Orioles game, crawling toward home plate, and being tagged out by Aaron Boone. Uhhhhyeah. The DL is long and getting longer, and A's fans have long suspected that the training staff has to bear some of the blame for this. The Yankees fired their conditioning coach after a rash of injuries, but the A's keep the same one and keep getting injured.

The A's also have one problem with the guys that are healthy enough to stagger onto the field and re-wind their bandages in between innings: they can't hit. You might say that this is an unfair thing to expect of invalids, but at least some of them have all their limbs in functional order and they still can't do it. Eric Chavez, for example, still plays great defense, but he's only hitting .240 and can't for the life of him produce in important situations (although he did have a two-out RBI single yesterday, that is the exception, not the rule). For other teams, having runners on first and second and less than two outs might mean that they would score, but not so the A's; they'll ground into a double play or otherwise squander it. Chavez seems to do his best hitting when the A's are already significantly behind or ahead, and I do like the guy, but I too am starting to wonder about his mental makeup. We don't need our very own A-Rod on this team (although A-Rod's defense doesn't even compare to Chavez's).

Also, one of the other chief offenders is Bobby Crosby. I am really getting sick of him, as is a great portion of Athletics Nation. His defense is still cringe-inducing -- he looks awkward in the field and it's still a fifty-fifty proposition as to whether his throws will make it to first. Not to mention his crazy, all-out swing, which is mainly good for racking up strikeouts in important situations. Crosby says that the swing has "worked'' for him since high school and he doesn't want to change it now. You know what that means, Crosby? It means you're lazy. If you want to get better, if you want to perform at a major league level, you will put in all the long hours of work now that you did then. Getting to the major leagues is not carte blanche to slack off, drive fast in nice cars, hang out with blonde girls, and drink, as I'm well aware you like to do. They may be nice perks, but you came to Oakland to play, now play, goddammit. We didn't re-sign Tejada for you, since you were supposed to step into those shoes and perform at a consistently high level. All these times you've been injured, we've waited for you to get back, we've said you'll do better, but you haven't, and right now, you're barely even replacement-level. So put in the goddamn work and act like you want to be here, instead of phoning it in.

Whew. Okay. Blew off a little steam there. That's healthy, we all have to do that, this is my blog and I can say what I want.... Now then. The last proposition for the day is the Rockies, and I have a bit of vitriol for them too, more specifically Clint Hurdle, as always. The Rockies won yesterday in Great American Ball Park, which is a house of horrors for them (3-11) but that doesn't mean they're exempt from my wrath, now that I've got it going. I am going to make a bold claim, which is: The Rockies would be at least in second place in the division right now if they fired Clint Effing Hurdle.

When the Rockies win, it's usually because someone (such as Matt Holliday, blossoming into a true superstar) steps up, puts them on his back, and plays hard. The 9-7 win against the Giants exemplified that. Holliday had a moonshot homer, a bases-clearing double, and a fully extended diving catch on a sinking liner, and all this after cracking the walkoff for the Rockies against the Braves. They do not win because Hurdle makes smart decisions. Take yesterday. Tie game, top tenth, two runners on, no outs, Brad Hawpe at the plate. Hurdle wants him to bunt. I do not think the idiocy of this can be overstated. Coming up after Hawpe are Yorvit Torrealba and Omar Quintanilla, who, shall we say, are not going to win any batting titles in the near future. Hawpe is the last guy up who has the ability to put it over the fence -- not to mention that he's never successfully bunted before in his career. This was maybe his third attempt to lay down a sacrifice, and it doesn't work; he strikes out on the foul bunts. Torrealba grounds into a double play for the second time that game and the inning ends. The Rockies end up winning because Willy Taveras, of all people, gets his second extra-base hit (out of 26) and Troy Tulowitzki, who's on a tear, puts him in with an opposite-field single.

Hurdle's comments after the game went to the effect of, "Well, Hawpe needs to know how to bunt." No, you bleeding moron, he doesn't. That's the pitcher's job. Let Hawpe swing away and lay down a bunt with Torrealba if you have to satisfy your bunting fetish -- try a squeeze play, something. Arrrgggh. To add to his ledger of questionable decisions, Hurdle pulled Todd Helton late in the game -- Helton has an on-base percentage over .500 and is hitting in the .380s -- for Jamey Carroll, who's hitting well under .200. At least that one didn't come back to bite us, but if the game had gone any longer, it would have been Carroll's task to protect Matt Holliday in the twelfth inning. How do you think that would have gone? Carroll also made a slick play at third (I was quite pleased to see Garrett Atkins playing first, which is actually his original position) but if the game had gone any longer and we'd needed a hitter, we would have been screwed.

This latest mind-bogglingly stupid Hurdle decision comes after he used Steve Finley and John Mabry to pinch-hit back to back in the ninth inning of a two-run game. His comments about the Mets/Rockies game last week (the one I didn't go to) where El Duque and Aaron Cook traded zeros for most of the game and then the Mets won on the flukey drag bunt in extras? "I enjoyed watching the pitchers duel." You know what, Clint? If you like watching baseball, retire and buy season tickets to a team you like. Don't sit in the dugout and amiably watch the team you are in charge of lose, or worse, make stupid decisions that push them closer to losing. The guy has absolutely no winning mentality whatsoever. Win-at-all-costs bulldogs can be harsh, but at least they know how to push their guys farther. With the talent the Rockies have right now (with the exception of their shitaceous bullpen) there is no reason in the world they shouldn't be competing for the NL West title, except for one: Clint Effing Hurdle.

Okay. All those diatribes delivered, I suppose I should say that surprisingly, out of all my teams right now, I'm having the most fun watching the Rockies. The A's have the best record (14-14) but I'm still afraid something bad is going to happen to them in May, and I'm so tired of their injuries and lack of RISP hits that I think I need to take a short break and check back with them in June, traditionally a great month for the green and gold. The Cardinals are honestly depressing right now, so it falls to the Rockies to save my enthusiasm. I love their guys, and can just watch inning by inning and not care about competing -- the A's and Cards were projected to compete, the A's probably will -- but with the Rockies, I can just watch. Not to say that the losing doesn't bother me -- as you can see above, it does. It really does. Still, my love for the guys is enough to keep me watching, the wins are nice, and then there's the thought that on Wednesday, May 16, I'll be back at Coors in my Rockies stuff and watching my first home game of the year. That is a cheerful thought.

In the meantime, I am (OH so) close to finishing my work, a very cheering thought. I also get to go to a game at Yankee Stadium on Wednesday with one of my good friends on the softball team, which will be fun -- I'll enjoy seeing the place and watching a game, and if the Yankees should happen to lose, so much the better. But psst... you didn't hear me say that. And on Friday I fly home for the start of summer, which is a very happy thought. Okay. Hope I didn't scare anybody off. I get mad at them because I love them so much.

In the Aftermath of an Ion Storm

...utter weirdness ensues. Okay, I'm lying, I have no idea if there was an ion emission from the sun today or not, but there's gotta be some explanation for the random acts of oddness that kept popping up in baseball games (at least the ones I watched) today. Braden Looper, the much-flagellated whipping boy of this blog, pitched seven shutout innings against the Pirates while permitting only two hits and three apiece of walks and strikeouts, spoiling a chilly debut in Pittsburgh against Ian Snell. No, that's not a typo - a reliever who has made a career out of underwhelming in key situations actually appears (through two starts at least) to be an act of absolute highway robbery by pitching coach extraordinaire Dave Duncan. It appears as if the magic touch of Duncan elder may have turned not just Looper, but Kip Wells in addition, into serviceable starters (Kip also pitched seven shutout innings, allowing only one hit, in a 10-1 Easter Sunday romp over the Astros). Still, I'm not ready to award either of them the Cy, as Sidney Ponson also started off well for the Redbirds last year before utterly disintegrating. (To bring a balancing touch to the bizarre events of the day, Sir Sid remained true to form and was shelled for 10 hits and 8 runs in 5.2 innings against the Twins). Looper has pitched well against the Pirates before, logging an 1.60 ERA coming into today's appearance, and let's face it, the 2007 Pirates aren't exactly the 1927 Yankees. Still, progress is progress.

Still, especially with the bad news about Carpenter, the Cardinals really need some quality outings -- which they have been getting, despite the snide idiocy of certain SI.com writers. (John Donovan ranked the Cards at #27 and added that they'd had a 2-4 opening with zero quality starts. John, may I bring to your attention: Wells, 6 IP, 2 ER, Looper, 6 IP, 3 ER, Wainwright, 7 IP, 0 ER, Wells, 7 IP, 0 ER, Looper, 7 IP, 0 ER. The pitching is the furthest thing from being the problem right now -- it's that the offense, even King Albert, still thinks it's in spring training). However, Albert cracked his first homer of the season on Sunday and followed it up today with a 2-for-3, 2 runs scored performance against personal nemesis Ian Snell. (Well, aside from his other personal nemesis, Brad Lidge, who lost the closer's job after allowing 5 ER in a ninth-inning stint against the Cards on Sunday... he never recovered after allowing Albert's climactic 9th-inning homer in Game 5 of the 2005 NLCS).

As for Carpenter, it's bad news... part of my worst-case projection scenario was that he would be hurt. Still, as tempting as a bridge-leaping escapade might look, it's not actually the end of the world. The official diagnosis is moderate arthritis and impingement, so let's take that one at a time. Moderate arthritis is worrisome, and it's what eventually led to the end of Sandy Koufax's career, but he pitched three great seasons after the initial diagnosis was made, so it's not immediately threatening. As for an impingement, it's common with athletes who make continual repetitive motions (such as throwing, in Carp's case) and it's when the membrane of the elbow gets stuck in the elbow joint. Although it's painful, rest and medicine can help treat it -- arthroscopic surgery is the last-case solution and hopefully it won't come to that. Cards Nation can exhale a communal sigh of relief that there is, according to the team doctors, no torn ligaments -- a problem of that nature would likely require the nefarious Tommy John surgery and shelve Carp for the rest of the season. Injury to a guy who won the Cy Young less than two years ago is never what you want to hear, but the Cards could DL him retroactive to his last appearance (April 1) and have him miss only one more start after today. It all depends on how it's feeling and how well it responds to rest.

At least this happened early in the season instead of September, and there's still every chance that Carp can come back and have a dominant '07 campaign. It probably explains a bit about his bad Opening Night start, however. And all things considered, the rotation is much stronger at this point than it was one year ago, despite that none of the current four were there in April 2006. It's shed Ponson, Marquis, Weaver, and injured Mulder, so I have hope that they can carry the slack while Carp's gone. Randy Keisler, an unspectacular reliever, will be making Carp's scheduled start tomorrow -- Blake Hawksworth in Memphis was mentioned as a possible solution, but he's still young, possibly not ready for a full-time assignment, and you don't want to start his arbitration clock too early if he's not prepared for the pressures of the big leagues. Keisler's bad, but there's no one you could possibly run out there who would be as good as Carp. Hopefully it's just one or two spot starts and then the Cards get their ace back. I repeat: it does not appear to be serious and season and/or career-threatening.

Now pardon me while I go jump off a bridge.

Just kidding, of course. To add to the weirdness of today, Preston Wilson actually came up with a clutch two-run double in a late-inning situation, Jason Isringhausen worked a 1-2-3 ninth without a single baserunner, and Chris Duncan didn't make an error in the field. (Kidding again... I have a great fondness for Duncan the younger, at least for his bat, and his defense hasn't been nearly as atrocious as it was in the World Series). Pujols and Rolen are still struggling to stay over the Mendoza line, but both have shown recent signs of coming around, which is good. All in all, the Cards have won three of four since being swept by the Mets to inaugurate the season, and there's no need for widespread panic in Redbird Land.

Ah, who am I kidding? I've already jumped off that bridge.

Anyway, the Rockies also overcame a fairly big hurdle (and no, not their manager, although he does quantify as a permanent obstruction) by coming into Los Angeles and taking the Dodgers' home opener from them by a score of 6-3. Garrett Atkins hit his first homer of the season, a solo jack in the first, and totaled 3 RBI, the other two coming on sacrifice flies. Brad Hawpe continued to flash a hot bat, and Jeff Baker seems intent on carving out regular playing time by hook or by crook. But the weirdest thing of all was that anemic leadoff man Willy Taveras actually smoked a line-drive double and ran out an infield hit for a 2-for-5 day. (He also struck out twice, naturally, including once to kill a big rally, but you can't have everything...) Taveras has looked bad in the opening weeks, and not just getting-unlucky bad, as in totally-overmatched bad. He had the lowest on-base percentage in the league and although his speed is excellent for throwing pitchers off, it does absolutely jack-squat if he can't get on. Steve Finley is just as bad, and for some reason, the Rockies refuse to entertain the notion of promoting Ryan Spilborghs from AAA Colorado Springs to fill this vacancy. All he did was hit over .400 in the spring, and he's definitely got the speed for center. But no... although I am now just as passionate about the Rox as I am about my other two teams, I have to admit that the obstinacy and sometimes sheer idiocy of their management kills me on a regular basis.

Jeff Francis continued the string of shockingly excellent pitching from the Rox's starting rotation, going 6.2 strong innings and allowing only 2 runs. Brian Fuentes got himself into a heap of trouble in the bottom of the ninth, loading the bases with none out, but escaped with an infield-fly popout, a sac fly, and another flyout to seal the deal. The Rockies were 4-15 against the Dodgers last year, and even a 9-10 record would have put them at a 81-81 (.500) overall, so improving there will be key. Hopefully they also win the following games of this series, something that they failed to do in San Diego despite also taking the opener. They played the Padres very tough and were repeatedly screwed by some god-awful umpiring, so if it wasn't for the blue and LaTroy Hawkins (who is personally responsible for two of their three losses) they could be 6-1 or even undefeated despite their vaunted offense not being entirely on the stick just yet. This is a very good and very underrated team that I'm doing my best not to get too excited about, because, pardon my French, I just know Clint Hurdle will find a way to shit the bed. I have zero confidence in his ability and desire to win.

Well, the A's home opener kicked off about fifteen minutes ago, with Rich Harden making the start against the White Sox and Jose Contreras. If the A's win, it'll be the first time that all three of my teams have won on the same day this season.

(P.S. Further evidence of crazy-world. Harden started Paul Konerko off 0-2, then completely lost his command and threw him four straight in the dirt to walk him. That ion storm is powerful stuff).

Batting Averages: .333 Last Night, .167 Overall

Well, the second day of the season went better for some, less so for others. The Cards haven't returned from the sun-soaked idylls of Spring Training, evidently, as not even their ring ceremony could spur them to pull out a win over the Mets. New acquisition Kip Wells did well until the sixth inning, when the wheels fell off and culminated with him yielding a two-run double to the possible android El Duque, who never seems to get any older. Unfortunately, the Cards' bats couldn't chip back, with the exception of a solo homer by Scottie Rolen - the first dinger hit at Busch in '07 and the first for the team in general. The Cards had a great opportunity with Pujols up, two on, and two out in the bottom of the eighth, but Pujols couldn't produce - he had been hitting the ball hard all game, as most of the Cards were, but they just weren't finding holes. The Cards also didn't help their case last night with three double plays - no sooner did the leadoff man get on than they would be erased by a twin killing. Still, the last time the Cards got off to an 0-2 start was in 2004, when they won 105 games and steamrolled everybody (albeit not in the World Series) so there's hope. Everyone's three years older and a little worse, now, so things in Redbird Nation will bear careful watching.

I'm not that worried about the Cards, at least not offensively - their luck has to start changing and balls have to start finding holes eventually. At least they're all making solid contact and there have been very few strikeouts. However, I am worried about the mutterings surrounding Chris Carpenter and his prized right arm. Apparently it stiffened up on him after his start, to the point that he couldn't touch his right shoulder with his right hand, and he's being held out of his scheduled Friday start as a precautionary measure. At least it's not his shoulder, which has a much more checkered history, but there's never a good time for Carp to go down. At least it's at the very beginning of the season and not in the stretch drive, but it goes without saying that if the ace is decommissioned for any substantial length of time (and no, he's not on the DL... the consensus seems to be that it's very minor) then the Cards are going to lose a lot of ground in terms of divisional advantage. Carp is the anchor of the rotation and they need him back as quickly as possible. The medical staff has taken every opportunity to reassure the fans that it won't be serious, but they, like the A's, are rarely known for being upfront about the health of players. Time will tell, and cross your fingers.

Speaking of the A's, they also fell victim to some bad luck last night. Joe Blanton had a rocky outing against the Mariners, a team that he usually dominates, and Richie Sexson hit his second homer in two days - if he's fixed the many holes in his swing and become more of a contact hitter, he's going to be incredibly dangerous. The man has the size to send it a long way and if he's shed his propensity to strike out, he could be one of the best hitters in the AL. But it's still much too early to be making such calls -- we'll have to see.

The A's did manage to scrap back and tie the game at four apiece in the top of the seventh, but usually lights-out relievers Kiko Calero and Justin Duchscherer combined to give up four more to the Mariners in the bottom half of the frame for an eventual 8-4 final. There's nothing you can do about it when your go-to bullpen guys don't have it -- more bad luck that should be corrected in the karmic wave after the fashion of the Baseball Gods. Still, though, these Mariners have a lot more punch, at least against the A's, then they did last year. There's no way that it could be expected that the A's would go 16-1 against them like they did in 2006, but the playing field, literally, is a lot more level between them than it was. But yet again -- isn't it maddening that you want to extrapolate, theorize, make up stuff, and know that it's really too early to have any sense at all of which way things are going to turn out? Hopefully the ball starts breaking in the Cards' and A's favor very soon. That would be good for my mental health.

Thus far, the only win in six games played by my teams has been scored by the Rockies, who managed to do so in eleven innings last night despite Byung-Hyun Kim's concentrated efforts to blow it earlier. Matt Holliday and Garrett Atkins both got off the schneid, as Holliday had two hits including an RBI and one in the decisive bottom of the eleventh. Atkins made good contact and finally was rewarded for it with a ringing double in the eighth, but was thrown out at the plate on a hit by Hawpe, which preserved the 2-2 tie and eventually sent the game to extras. As for Hawpe, he continues to look very strong at the plate, consistently making the pitcher work to six or seven pitches and coming up with timely hits. Unfortunately, he grounded into a double play in the eleventh that very nearly killed the rally then, but Troy Tulowitzki doubled to tie the game and Chris Iannetta hit a hard shot that D-backs third baseman Alberto Callaspo couldn't handle, bringing home Tulo with the winning run. It's great to see the kids come through - I'm getting honestly excited about the Rockies' chances this year. There isn't a power in the NL West, hasn't been for a while, and mainly consists of people getting lucky at the right time. With the roaring thunder of that Colorado lineup, all they need is some decent starting pitching and quality bullpen work. They also require a new manager. Coincidence that the Rox won on the night that Hurdle was suspended? ;) I think not. Then again, it was a really bone-headed move to put Kim in, as he's said he doesn't like bullpen work and I honestly don't put it past him to sabotage the team in that role so they trade him to some place where he can start. Not professional, but he's never really struck me as an overtly professional and courteous guy.

They also need a different eighth-inning guy. I nearly had a heart attack when they put in LaTroy Hawkins for a second consecutive night after blowing it on Opening Day, but he managed to induce a double play and escape with a scoreless inning. The seventh inning appears locked down by talented young fireballer Manny Corpas, but there is a big hole in the eighth before they can get it to Brian Fuentes in the ninth. Plugging Jose Mesa into this spot last year had bad results, and they'll lose just as many games this year if they can't, for the love of Christ, just get a reliable set-up man - one of the more underrated positions in baseball, if you ask me. I suggest they use Ramon Ramirez instead, as he can actually pitch. In my preseason preview of the Rockies, I noted that Hawkins has maintained a consistent level of suck for a number of previous employers, and that there's no reason to think that that'll change in Coors.

I'm still happy that baseball's back, but early-season wins would, as always, make it go down sweeter. Braden Looper is pitching tonight for the Cards against the Mets.... eeeerp, a season-opening sweep at the hands of the team they beat to get to the World Series would suck, but there may be no choices - they'd just have to go into Houston and take care of the Astros, another usual pest. Things look better for the A's, as they're throwing young Rich Harden against Miguel Batista. The only problem will be getting Harden through the game with no injuries. The A's showed some resiliency by tying things in the seventh yesterday, so it's possible that they can escape Seattle with a win before heading to SoCal to tackle their chief rivals, the Angels.

The Rockies throw Rodrigo Lopez against new Diamondback (and former Brewer) Doug Davis in a match-up of mediocre-to-bad pitchers in the finale of the season-opening set at Coors. More later (possibly tomorrow) on that, and a fun little feature that I'll probably start soon. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading...

Tonight's The Night The World Begins Again

OPENING NIGHT. Oh, how beautiful those two words are after a long offseason in which there were either a) no games, or b) games that didn't count with the regulars subbed out by the sixth inning for a bunch of no-name scrubs. Spring Training was a vital link that helped me get through the dimness of winter, but after needing time off to recover from the burden of caring so much, every night, my heart is ready to go, ready to soar and fall and go wherever the Cardinals, Athletics, and Rockies do. The Cardinals are kicking off the festivities tonight with an NLCS rematch against the Mets, Chris Carpenter vs. Tom Glavine (and for the record, I guessed every Opening Day starter correctly with the exception of Derek Lowe starting for the Dodgers instead of my pick Jason Schmidt, and Jose Contreras starting for the White Sox instead of either Mark Buehrle or Jon Garland). Also, Kenny Rogers got injured and messed up my pick for the Tigers -- it's Jeremy Bonderman instead. Also, I suppose that I didn't guess Carl Pavano for the Yanks -- who would have? -- so that bumps me down one. Still, 26 out of 30 -- nice job, Hilary.

I'll be liveblogging the game tonight, even though I am deprived of a TV and must rely on fancy-schmancy newfangled Gameday 2007 instead. As the fans celebrate that tenth world championship one more time at Busch before they begin the title defense, here are your starting lineups:

THE NEW YORK METS

Jose Reyes, SS
Paul Lo Duca, C
Carlos Beltran, CF
Carlos Delgado, 1B
David Wright, 3B
Moises Alou, LF
Shawn Green, RF
Jose Valentin, 2B
Tom Glavine, P

THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS

David Eckstein, SS
Preston Wilson, RF
Albert Pujols, 1B
Scott Rolen, 3B
Yadier Molina, C
Jim Edmonds, CF
So Taguchi, LF
Adam Kennedy, 2B
Chris Carpenter, P

I must admit I'm a bit surprised to see Yadi so high in the lineup, but apparently he hits better with runners on and he needs to do SOMETHING to improve on his .216 mark last year. It's good to see that Jimmy Ballgame is back and ready to go, as there were rampant rumors that he wouldn't be recovered from offseason toe and shoulder surgery in time to make the inaugural game. Dismayed to see Preston Wilson and So Taguchi in there, as both had horrible springs but benefit from La Russa's irrational fascination for them. I'd like to see Chris Duncan in there instead, bad defense and all, as he has power, something which P-Dub and S-Tag don't. Kennedy and Eckstein used to play on the Angels together, so they're a seasoned double-play tandem that should take care of things up the middle. Hopefully, Scotty Rolen is back in fine fettle and ready to rake, and as long as the Cards have the best hitter in the universe, Albert Pujols, sitting in there, they should be all right. 2005 NL Cy Young winner (and 2006 Cy runner-up) Chris Carpenter makes the start.

First pitch scheduled for 8:05 ET, although it may be delayed with ceremony. It warms my heart and gives me chills to think of the riotous welcome the red-clad faithful are going to give their (and my) Redbirds. They're welcoming a world champion back to the house for the first time since Opening Day 1983, and you can bet that place will be rocking tonight.

15 minutes until the world begins again.

GO CARDINALS!!!!!!

Preseason Preview: Cardinals

So close, and yet so far... The good news? Pitchers, catchers, and most of the position players have now reported to Spring Training, dispersing out through Arizona and Florida to divide into Cactus and Grapefruit Leagues and to get the ballgame on the road. Or at least... that's the idea. It's still several weeks until ST games start, so I have a while to get back into the habit of worrying about outcomes, as I'm one of those wonky fans who pays attention to every result, including preseason games. I can't help it... I'm so starved for baseball and I so badly want my teams to do well. Since the Cards reached the pinnacle of glory last year, now I want to see the A's do it. If I'm being realistic, I'll admit that there are more qualified (and more likely) teams to take the flag, but hope never dies, eh? I'm not nearly delusioned enough to think that the Rockies will get there, since Clint Hurdle's maxim is to get rid of anyone who is "developed" and by extension good, but hey. If there was a World Series game in Denver, I'd be pissed since I'd be in New York and ergo unable to attend.

This post will preview the Cards. A's next, and then the Rockies. So, in St. Louis, home of your defending WORLD CHAMPIONS, let's take a look at the lay of the land.

The St. Louis Cardinals

PITCHING

Starters

Who's Gone? Jeff Suppan (4 years for the Brewers) Jeff Weaver (1 year for the Mariners) Jason Marquis (3 years for the Cubs). Not that happy about losing Suppan - he was a strong #2 to slot behind Carpenter. Not sure about Weaver, who could have been either the pitcher he was in the '06 postseason or the pitcher he's been for a large part of his career. Thrilled to see Marquis go, especially to the Cubs, where the Cards will have a chance to beat him frequently.

Who's Here? Chris Carpenter, naturally. After that, nothing is certain. Kip Wells, Anthony Reyes, Adam Wainwright, and Braden Looper are the leading candidates to fill the other four spots. Yes, you read that right. Braden Looper. See my thoughts on this below.

Things stack up thusly:

- Chris Carpenter (obviously, #1, legit ace, should be in the running for another Cy. Carpenter's signature pitch is his cutter, which breaks low in the zone and is extremely hard to get a fix on, but if he relies on it too much, hitters will start sitting on it, with ugly results. See late September games versus Houston... although in fairness, Fat Elvis Berkman has always hit Carp well. Chris also sports a fastball that can touch 94 mph and he used to have a plus changeup, which he lost after arm surgery and is working to get back this season. He also has a killer big-hook 12-to-6 curve that, when working, is untouchable. As a matter of fact, that's the case with most of his pitches.)
- Kip Wells (most likely, mediocre-to-average Pirates stopgap filler. I don't know much about him, but he's a high-80s velocity type guy who relies more on offspeed stuff and deception rather than overwhelming power).
- Anthony Reyes (likely, has flashes of brilliance and of extreme incompetence, but still could amount to something special. He features a plus two-seam fastball, but hitters tend to feast on it since management is, for some reason, leery about letting him mix it up with his four-seamer).
- Adam Wainwright (my darling baby, etc., etc., is ticketed to make the move from closer to starter. Hurrah. More Adam never goes amiss. Adam's signature pitch is his curve, which he can bury in the zone and locate effectively against both lefties and righties. Carlos Beltran, who he struck out to end the NLCS, is still having nightmares about that dreamy bender that floated right by. Beltran says that even on a good day, with him fully healthy, hitting the ball well, there's no way he'd be able to do anything with that curve... that's how good it is. Adam also uses a splitter and low-nineties fastball to complement the Yellow Hammer).
- Braden Looper (fuck me sideways with a lunchbox, to borrow a colorful saying from one of my friends... Looper is absolutely terrible, hasn't started since 1997 when he was in Single-A, and has maybe three pitches, none of which are good. If a pitcher absolutely has to get an out, there's usually one killer pitch he can turn to - Carp has his cutter, Adam has his curve, and even young bullpen brat Ty Johnson has a wicked slider. Looper, on the other hand, is not good, so it follows that neither are his pitches. I have no idea what Dave Duncan professes to see in Looper, and no idea how a cringe-inducing reliever will make even a suitable fifth starter. I see a decent start, ala Sidney Ponson of last year, followed by such jarring and terrible incompetence that they're forced to remove him with a hook before they sink all the way to the bottom of the NL Central, which admittedly would be hard when you consider that they have the Pirates in their division).

Other possibilities - Mark Mulder, Ryan Franklin, Chris Narveson, Brad Thompson. They really need Marky Mark to come back at full throttle and be the caliber of pitcher that he was for the A's, but who knows if or when that will happen? If Jason Isringhausen isn't ready to go by Opening Day, Adam could also continue in the closer's role until he is. Chris Narveson made one start last year and was serviceable. Ryan Franklin was with the Mariners, is pretty bad, and is best known because not even taking steroids could make him good, which he subsequently got busted for. One Mariners fan friend of mine opines that he probably gets neck strain from turning to watch all the homers he gives up flying out of the park... not a good sign. Brad Thompson is a decent to average reliever and even he is a better choice than Looper. Jeezus Key-rist, I foresee antacid-popping and mass hemorraghes whenever he's on the mound. Maybe the Cards need to bite the bullet and admit that the state of their starting rotation is suspect.

Best-Case Scenario: Carp dominates, wins 20 games and the Cy while posting a sub-3 ERA. Kip Wells is serviceable to decent and wins 12-15 games with a mid-4 ERA. Reyes harnesses his oftentimes-wild stuff and posts 10-15 wins with a high 3-middle-4 ERA. Wainwright makes a smooth transition from closer to starter, wins 15+ games with a high 3 ERA. Looper, after one or two debacles in April, is demoted to mopup guy when a healthy Mulder comes back and wins 15 games for the eventual NL Central Champs.

Worst-Case Scenario: Carp starts off strong, gets injured around the break, and isn't the same pitcher afterwards, registering only 13-16 wins with a mid-4 ERA. Wells proves to be, well, an ex-Pirate and barely manages to win 10, often helped out by a lot of run support, posting an inflated ERA of close to 5. Reyes can't turn off the mercurial switch and vacillates between suck and serviceable, spending too much time at the former and stumbling to 5-7 wins and a mid-season demotion to iron out his mechanics. My sweet Adam can't replicate his postseason heroics and only wins 10 or 12 with a high-4 ERA. The only pitcher who stays in the rotation all season long is Looper, bluffing his way to 10 wins and 16 losses with a 5+ ERA. The Cards are sunk in the NL Central by September and the Cubs win the division, culminating in Jason Marquis beating his old mates in the clinching game. This causes groans, agony, and spontaneous suicide in Redbird nation. This Cards fan hits the Prozac to dull the pain.

Bullpen:

- Jason Isringhausen (aging, with his effectiveness in decline, Izzy enters the spring tagged with a hundred question marks. Can he regain the job that Adam took from him last September? Can he become healthy again, and most importantly, regain the trust of the Busch III fans that booed him while he was in the process of blowing one of his 11 total flubbed saves? Whether or not Adam opens the season in the rotation rests squarely on the shoulders of the good ol' Izzster).
- Tyler Johnson (a talented 25-year-old with a lively fastball and killer slider, he proved to be dominant against lefties last year, but righties beat him like a pinata. Can he find some consistent rhythm so he can be used for multiple batters, instead of only lefties?)
- Brad Thompson (a serviceable reliever who was used once as a starter when Carp was unavailable, all he needs to do is provide a reliable fallback plan in case one of the main bullpen guys goes down).
- Josh Hancock (known as the "fat pitcher" who was cut from Reds camp last year for being 17 pounds overweight, he was picked up by the Cards and subsequently won a ring. Also serviceable, if unproven).
- Josh Kinney (nabbed from the independent leagues, he was quite good in limited action last year, and engendered, surprisingly, a decent amount of trust from me. I would like to see him perform further, but only if good... obviously. ;))
- Russ Springer (returning from the Astros for his second tour of duty with the Cardinals, best known for failing to hit Barry Bonds three times in retaliation for an earlier beaning. Another dime-a-dozen stopgap bullpen guy, lumped in with his fellows as needed only to get the ball to the closer with the lead intact, whoever the closer may be).
- Ricardo Rincon (was excellent at producing ulcers, head-banging, and deep moans when he was on the A's. Unfortunately, I see no change here, especially as he's returning after missing an entire year with injuries).

Best-Case Scenario: Izzy comes back healthy and begins closing games with his old machine-like regularity. Ty Johnson and Josh Kinney flourish as the bullpen brats and become legit set-up guys. Looper is nowhere to be seen.

Worst-Case Scenario: Izzy sucks. A number of experiments to replace him commence, none of which work. The Cards' starters learn that to have any hope of winning a game, they need to take it all the way, and in doing so, blow out their arms, one by one. Looper is the only one exempt from this malady and keeps on pitching.

The Nonexpert Nostradumus Predicts:
(note - pitchers who could both start and relieve are listed for total numbers, not separately)

Starters
Chris Carpenter, RHP, 18-7, 2.95 ERA, 230 IP, 200 K, 33 starts
Kip Wells, RHP, 13-10, 4.30 ERA, 190 IP, 132 K, 31 starts
Anthony Reyes, RHP, 14-9, 3.97 ERA, 190 IP, 170 K, 29 starts
Adam Wainwright, RHP, 16-9, 3.85 ERA, 175 IP, 160 K, 32 starts
Braden Looper, P? (AHAHHAHA) 6-9, 5.56 ERA, 90 IP, 75 K, 13 starts
Mark Mulder, LHP, 7-5, 4.20 ERA, 50 K, 12 starts
Ryan Franklin, RHP, 2-4, 5.75 ERA, 30 K, 7 starts
Chris Narveson, LHP, 1-3, 4.15 ERA, 55 K, 3 starts
Brad Thompson, RHP, 2-2, 4.00 ERA, 20 K, 2 starts

Relievers
Jason Isringhausen, RHP, 3-2, 4.00 ERA, 25 SV/32 SVO
Randy Flores, RHP, 1-2, 5.00 ERA, 1 SV/2 SVO
Tyler Johnson, LHP, 1-3, 4.25 ERA, 2 SV/2 SVO
Russ Springer, RHP, 1-1, 4.35 ERA, 2 SV/2 SVO
Josh Kinney, RHP, 1-1, 3.55 ERA, 1 SV/1 SVO
Josh Hancock, RHP, 1-3, 4.10 ERA, 1 SV/ 3 SVO
Ricardo Rincon, RHP, 0-3, 4.95 ERA, 1 SV/4 SVO


HITTING

Projected Lineup (in positional, not batting, order)

1B Albert Pujols (no worries. Man is a machine)
2B Adam Kennedy (hopefully will benefit from transition to NL and reunition with former/current DP partner Eckstein)
SS David Eckstein (totally overrated, but should provide decent average with a scattering of extra-base hits)
3B Scott Rolen (needs to come back strong from injury and off-year)
RF So Taguchi/John Rodriguez/Juan Encarnacion (none of which are great, but combined can provide a little power to a lower-order spot)
CF Jim Edmonds/Preston Wilson (Edmonds is aging and had a lot of injury problems last year... can he rebound or is he on the way down?)
LF Chris Duncan/So Taguchi/Scott Spiezio (Duncan is atrocious with the glove, but has legit power and could conceivably crack 20+ homers if his defense doesn't undercut his playing time).
C Yadier Molina/Gary Bennett (Molina is a very light hitter, but is kept on the team for his knack for working with pitchers and his cannon of an arm - he threw out a ridiculous percentage of base-stealers last year).

Best-Case Scenario: Pujols resumes his usual monster-mashing ways and hits an insane number of clutch homers to bail out the Cards' bullpen in moments of weakness. Rolen comes on like a machine in his blossoming year, providing almost an equal amount of power from across the diamond. Jimmy Ballgame shows that the injuries were a fluke while providing 20 HR, 80 RBI, and Gold Glove/highlight reel defense. Juan Encarnacion remains where he does most good, on the bench. Chris Duncan learns how to field, gets more playing time, and blasts in excess of 20 HR. Even Molina discovers his bat and contributes 10 HR. Adam Kennedy and David Eckstein provide decent production from traditionally light-hitting positions, with a .275/.285 average, respectively. The Cards' offensive firepower combines with some standout pitching and they win the NL Central handily.

Worst-Case Scenario: Pujols does his thing and a) gets seriously injured (please God no) or b) runs a one-man show since no one can help him out. Rolen continues to underwhelm offensively despite generally solid defense. Poor old Jim just can't recover from being knocked silly last year and provides only a .250 average with 10-15 HR and waning play in the field. Juan Encarnacion gets too much playing time. Yadier Molina hits exactly 1 HR all year, and that in a game where Looper has already allowed 10 runs. All the sneering prognosticators are right about the miserable state of the Cardinals' offense, and they're sunk in the Central by August. The Cubs win the division, culminating with a complete-game shutout by Jason Marquis. Cardinals Nation commits hara-kiri.

The Nonexpert Nostradamus Predicts:

Albert Pujols, R/R, 1B: .335 AVG, 45 HR, 144 RBI, .440 OBP, .680 SLG, 1.120 OPS
Adam Kennedy, L/R, 2B: .270 AVG, 4 HR, 40 RBI, .320 OBP, .380 SLG, .700 OPS
David Eckstein, R/R, SS: .285 AVG, 2 HR, 20 RBI, .340 OBP, .330 SLG, .670 OPS
Scott Rolen, R/R, 3B: .277 AVG, 30 HR, 96 RBI, .370 OBP, .525 SLG, .895 OPS
So Taguchi, R/R, RF/LF: .255 AVG, 4 HR, 30 RBI, .330 OBP, .340 SLG, .670 OPS
John Rodriguez, L/L, RF/LF: .299 AVG, 5 HR, 40 RBI, .380 OBP, .390 SLG, .770 OPS
Juan Encarnacion, R/R, RF: .260 AVG, 17 HR, 67 RBI, .315 OBP, .420 SLG, .735 OPS
Jim Edmonds, L/L, CF: .266 AVG, 21 HR, 85 RBI, .360 OBP, .485 SLG, .845 OPS
Chris Duncan, L/R, RF/LF: .288 AVG, 25 HR, 65 RBI, .375 OBP, .580 SLG, .955 OPS
Yadier Molina, R/R, C: .240 AVG, 7 HR, 41 RBI, .290 OBP, .325 SLG, .615 OPS
Gary Bennett, R/R, C: .220 AVG, 3 HR, 19 RBI, .270 OBP, .320 SLG, .590 OPS
Preston Wilson, R/R, CF/RF: .260 AVG, 17 HR, 60 RBI, .305 OBP, .477 SLG, .782 OPS
Scott Spiezio, S/R, LF/RF: .270 AVG, 12 HR, 50 RBI, .350 OBP, .470 SLG, .820 OPS

OVERALL PREDICTION
The NL Central will be close all season long, with the Cubs and Astros each overtaking the Cards at one point, but never staying in the catbird seat for long. Even the Brewers will briefly compete, and the Reds will look legit before being proven to be smoke and mirrors with late-season injury woes. The Pirates? The Pirates are run by Dave Littlefield. Pity them. The Cards will win another division title, without an epic late-season collapse this time. This may be a highly biased prediction, but I've done my best to assess the Cards fairly, and I think that they have more than enough talent to do it. It's the question of making it click. I don't get the hoopla about the Cubs. They added a talented but K-prone "outfielder" with extremely suspect defense (Alfonso Soriano) and if they plan on playing him on the outfield in Wrigley, good luck to them. They have Kerry Wood and Mark Prior, who will stay healthy when hell freezes over. And they have Jason Marquis. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! For the Cubs to improve 10 games in '07 (in other words, by quite a lot) they would still only win 76 games, and I do think the Cards are capable of outstripping that. I suppose the question remains as to who is more of a sparkplug: Tony La Russa or Lou Piniella? I also think that the Cards will have a better year than most people give them credit for, and will take the Central crown.

Notice that I'm being nice to the Cubs. I gave them a whole 12 games' worth of improvement. Where they're gonna get that from, I haven't a clue. If it's from Marquis, I'll eat several items of clothing, including but not limited to my hat.

NL CENTRAL
1. Cardinals, 89-73
2. Astros, 86-76
3. Reds, 85-77
4. Cubs, 78-84
5. Brewers, 77-85
6. Pirates, 63-99

The next post will preview the A's, and by extension the AL West. God, I need baseball....

Playoffs, Day 10/11/12: Much Yayness/Doodoogate/CHRISGASM

Okay, so it's a lump update since I'm lazy. Either that or I was trying to write two essays, one for history and one for philosophy, and having to resort to yanking the Ethernet cable so I wasn't tempted to get on the 'Net and procrastinate. I did finish the philosophy essay, mostly there on history. They seem to be good at first glance, but I can't shake the feeling that I am just refining myself as a bullshit artist. Thus far, however, in my experience at community college at any rate, how much I like the papers seems to be inversely proportional to how much my professors do. Therefore, I guess that if I think the current batch is crap, my professors will eat them up. Eew. That sounded so wrong.

It is a little over a week until I get to see my family. I really cannot wait.

Now. Onto the mass update. It covers, as you can probably tell, the first three games of the Fall Classic. The Cardinals won the first one 7-2 on the back of eight dominant innings by Flat-Hat, High-Sock Anthony Reyes, who I wish would make the other Cards copy his look because I love the high socks and Adam would look even more dreamy in them then he does already. The rest of it... I could do without. Reyes is as fugly as hell, but seeing as he is my team's Game 5 starter, I will refrain from talking too much smack about him. Hell, if Suppan does well in 4 and Reyes locks it down in 5... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Tigers won Game 2, behind what is rapidly turning into a controversy the size of the George Brett pine tar incident, except that wasn't in the World Series. Doodoogate, as I like to call it, involved a certain suspicious-looking smudge on the hand of one aging pitcher that, until now, had been a postseason washout...

Take a look for yourself, if you can bear the pain of having Kenny Rogers' hideous mug foisted electronically onto yours. Then compare the two shots that follow.

Kenny Rogers' mug. Note hand.


On the left: Rogers' hand from ALCS Game 3 against the A's. (I'll shed a tear for my boys, who I wish were at the big dance, but the Cards have taken so much of the pain away, it isn't even funny). On the right: Rogers' hand in World Series Game 2. And I'm sure, Kenny, that the same smudge of "dirt" got there twice, in the same spot, without you knowing. Uh---huhhhh.

Of course, after the umpires (rightly) made him wash it off, he kept the Cardinals off balance all night. But if LaRussa pressed the issue - which he didn't, for whatever reason - he could have had Rogers ejected immediately and the Kitties' starting rotation massively fucked in the event of extra games to seal the deal. I'm curious as to why he didn't.

Either way, Kenny Rogers is still a douchebag.

As for Game 3, well, the only reason that people came sprinting out to the mound to examine Chris Carpenter's hand was in the seventh inning of a dominant performance from the Redbird ace, after he complained of having a cramp. There was no scuff or smear on that masterly palm, assure you me, and it did not stop Carp from finishing out eight innings of blemish-free work, permitting only three hits. He also allowed no walks and didn't even get to a three-ball count on a batter. On his first appearance on the World Series stage, Carp was his usual brilliant self. (He missed the '04 postseason with a bicep injury, which is just as well since the Cards disappeared in the World Series anyway). What a way to debut in baseball's biggest spotlight. Braden Looper, a pitcher who causes all of the Cardinals faithful to pop a handful of antacids, finished it off with a relatively uneventful ninth, and the boys in red took a 2-1 edge.

I came into the Series with the conviction that the Tigers were probably going to win it, but it may not be easy. I'm slowly starting to shift. I want desperately to believe that my beloved Cardinals can do it, but I'm trying to stay realistic. Well, reality is that if NLCS MVP Jeff Suppan follows up Carp's masterpiece tomorrow night, the team that everyone expected to "lose in three" according to certain smug self-confident sportswriters, will in fact have a 3-1 lead and possibly, possibly be in position to capture a tenth World Championship at home.

But that's really getting ahead of myself. There's a world of difference between 3-1 and 2-2, and the latter is still entirely probable if Suppan gets on his knees and blows the game tomorrow, which he may or may not do. (Obviously, I hope not). But if it is....

The thing is, these Cardinals are playing like a championship team. They're getting outstanding pitching (even in the game that they lost, they only surrendered three runs) they're getting contributions up and down the order, and they're not the one making the stupid mistakes. Such as tonight, when Albert Pujols hit an easy, dinking grounder back to Joel Zumaya, and instead of going for the double play at second, he opted instead to throw it to third - despite the fact that a 1-5-3 DP in the World Series hasn't been turned since 1923. Zumaya possibly showed why, as his throw went into foul ground and the Cardinals added two runs to their lead.

The Cards have completely muffled the heart of the Detroit order, and, well, the Tigers just look rusty. Thus, while I'm still cautious, I'm getting warmed up to the idea that this Hunt for Red October might end in fruition.

But that's just my take after tonight. It will be appropriately more optimistic or dispirited after the results of tomorrow night. If they win, then you can bet your ass that I am watching Game 5 to see my boys clinch. If they lose, it's back to the religious avoidance of anything baseball-related while online. I'm really bad with pressure, and cannot take the pain of actually watching the game... so I'm a wimp. But I will watch Game 5. But only if the Cardinals win.

I feel like I have schizophrenia. My "optimistic" and "there's no way they can actually do this" sides are warring. I should probably go to bed anyway, as classes (depressingly) resume tomorrow after I had the first two days of the week off, which was a good thing because of those freaking aforementioned essays. Guh... wish me luck, I'm gonna need it...


GO CARDINALS!!!!

Playoffs, Day 8: A Sound as if a Million Sportswriters Cried Out In Terror

....and were suddenly silenced.

Wow. Just wow. I think that the only reason I wasn't crushed about the A's was because the Cardinals were still alive, and making it a respectable series at that. That feeling was vindicated tonight in another amazing Game Five for the Redbirds. Last year at this time, Albert Pujols was launching moonshots off Brad Lidge that probably still have yet to come down, and the series switched back to St. Louis for a sixth game, which the Astros won. Now, the series is switching back to New York for a sixth game, and if the Cards win, they're in. Who would have believed it. No one, absolutely no one, including to some degree myself, gave them a chance in this series. Certain smug Yahoo! sportswriters were publishing snide opinion pieces that the baseball world might as well crown the Mets the champs.

Well, said sportswriters can't be feeling that confident today. Jeff Weaver turned in six outstanding innings - yes, Jeff Weaver. Baby Dunc, also known as Chris Duncan, can't hit lefties and was put in against a lefty that was mowing the Cards down. What does he do? He hits a home run. King Albert retorts immediately after the Mets had scored two early runs with a homer of his own. And Adam... ah, I mean my husband, came in with two on and two out in the top of the eighth and absolutely bedeviled Jose Valentin (who had hurt the Cards earlier) with filthy stuff to end the inning before making similarly quick work of the ninth. I'm so in love with him I don't think it's possible for me to be more. I need to wear my Carpenter shirt tonight because Chris is pitching tomorrow with a chance to punch the Cards' ticket to the 2006 World Series, but DAMN. Adam, my baby.

Wow. To say that I'm thrilled with this turn of events would be a major understatement. And I know that I should write about something besides baseball, but baseball is my life right now. And speaking of writing about baseball, that's actually a job of mine. Yep, I'm now a sportswriter for The Phoenix, SLC's school newspaper, as I was recruited by a friend on the softball team who knows about my mutual passions for a) baseball and b) writing. How enthusiastic am I about this job? I already prepared a piece - 700 words on the World Series. I did two versions of it, one with the Mets as NL champs and one with the Cards as NL champs. I pray I never have a need to send the Mets' one to my editor.

The Mets have to be worried. They admitted they felt tremendous pressure to wrap this up in six games, and now that's not possible, unless of course the Cards wrap up things in six games, which they have a good chance of doing with Carp on the mound tomorrow. They have to win two games started by John Maine and Oliver Perez while the opponent throws the NL Cy Young winner and a guy with a 2.39 ERA after the All-Star break. That has to be in their heads just a little bit. Game Fives are pivotal for series that are tied at 2 - something like 6 of 7 teams that won 5 went on to capture the title.

LET'S GO RED-BIRDS!!!!!

Playoffs, Day 6: I Lied. There Is No Other Man For Me

....besides him.



Yeah, yeah, you say. Why am I singling in on somebody who only closed out the ninth inning, instead of the true hero - a certain Christopher John Carpenter - who after looking pretty damn shaky in the first inning, locked in and locked down and went seven of them, only allowing two runs, in a brilliant ace-like outing to show all the Redbird doubters that the Cards are never dead?

Dunno. Why am I centering on him? Because I love him? Awww, I suppose I can give Carp some love as well.



I love you too, Chris Carpenter. You and Adam have the most adorable smiles on this entire team.

As you may have guessed by now, the Cardinals secured their playoff berth today with a 6-2 win over the Padres. Carpenter had a bad first inning, as mentioned, but he's Chris mothafuckin’ Carpenter, and he doesn't give up easily to a bunch of ballplayers named after an order of tonsured nincompoops. He instead, brought the pain. 96-mile-an-hour fastballs paired with a devastating, disorienting big-hook curveball, a filthy slider, and just plain unfair breaking stuff. The Padres didn’t have a chance.

By the top of the eighth, however, Carp was gassed, since the Cardinals did not allow him to sit down for more than thirty seconds at a time, seeing an average of 1.6 pitches per at-bat, which all added up to scant rest for him. Therefore, it was probably understandable that a pair of dink singles to open the eighth finally chased him. However, what threatened to make the game too close for comfort was put out by the firemen corps now known as the Cards bullpen, instead of the fire-starters. It is a nice change. Ty Johnson and Josh Kinney did their thing again and the ball was handed off to Adam to inaugurate the ninth.

Of course, he does his thing... kid is too nasty and amazing for words. Not before he let his nerves get the best of him a bit, and allowed a pair of base hits, but neither of them scored, and he got a little sweet revenge by getting major pest Dave Roberts to ground out to Albert for the final out, setting off a wild celebration in Redbird Land.

So, we'll see if they can pull off the scrappy underdog mojo as effectively as they did in the NLDS, in which all the so-called experts at ESPN gave them zero chance of getting out of the first round. In case you've noticed, almost all of ESPN's picks are wrong to date, and I love it.

Also, I'm planning to see if I can actually bring myself to pony up $250 for NLCS Game 2 tickets at Shea Stadium. I'm going to have to see if I can rope a few of my guy friends, Steve and Nick, into coming with me. However awesome it would be, I'm scared of going alone, since I'd be an eighteen-year-old girl in the colors of the enemy riding back and forth on the subway at night. Not a good idea. If not, I may get together with some other of the NYC-area Viva El Birdos posters to invade a bar in the Big Apple and watch the game. I'll be the one with a ponytail, a Cards hat, and a Wainwright #50 shirt.

Wow, this post is way more coherent than some of my other celebratory posts. Probably because I cheated, and cut-and-pasted some of it from a bit I already wrote for my sister. But before I sign off, I must leave you with this photo and its caption (major hat tip to Deadspin).


The Happy Italian Vegetarian Lawyer Genius Elf

Playoffs, Day 5: C'est Petit Mal

The Cardinals failed to go for the jugular as effectively as the A's did today. Instead, Jeff Suppan suddenly decided to be terrified of an underwhelming Padres lineup that had scored a grand total of one run in 18 innings, and was gone early after coughing up a total of three. However, the Cards' bullpen continued their stellar work - now unscored-on in 11.1 innings or something close to that - and managed to hold them there. Unfortunately, the offense apparently counted on the Padres' bats not showing up either, and went MIA, with the only run coming on a So Taguchi eighth-inning home run. The Cards will throw Chris Carpenter tomorrow in Game 4. Should they clinch, he'd then be unavailable until at least Game 2 or 3 of the NLCS. Hopefully, the second-stringers (everyone in the rotation aside from him) can hold the fort until then, so he doesn't have to return to a do-or-die situation.

I got my daily dose of Adam by watching his video interview. That hair...those eyes... yeah, yeah, I know, moving on.

Well, my roommate and her boyfriend just came back to the dorm, which messed up my concentration. Feh. Hate it when that happens - I seem to do my best writing when I'm alone, naturally, so now I have to contend with the extra inhabitants. It's probably Bad Person of me to say, but I sort of dislike the sometimes constant stream of visitors. This IS my room, after all, my little sanctum in the crazy world of college, and I like it when we have peace and quiet.

Yes, well, returning to the topic at hand. Baseball. The Tigers confounded the world, and the talking heads at ESPN, by upending perennial media darling New York and their entire group (I am loathe to call them a "team") of overpaid, self-interested, aging superstars. I just don't get the sense of fire and urgency from them at all that I got from, say, the A's. The Yankees are four and out once more in the ALDS, and the Motor City Kitties are on their way to an ALCS face-off with the A's. Should be interesting.

Gah. Invaded again. I sense this is a doomed effort. More later, and probably a bubbly and incoherent post from me tomorrow if Carp seals the deal.

Playoffs, Day 1: Everything Be Peachy

It's too soon to put on the Nostradamus hat or do any serious prognosticating at all, but you have to like how the pertinent (for me) ALDS and NLDS games turned out today. The A's, the overwhelming underdog (at least according to all the so-called "experts") against the Cinderella Twinkies, pulled off the improbable and stunned the Snack Cakes in the HostessDome. Frank Thomas... man, without him, the A's would have been sitting on their hands and meekly watching the LAAAA trot off with the division again. He's the man who's doing all the heavy lifting that Eric Chavez was supposed to, and Chavy, while I love him, has never demonstrated a propensity for "clutch" heroics.

The Big Hurt brought the pain yet again, jacking 2 HR - one off Johan Santana and one off Jesse Crain - and Marco Scutaro added an RBI double off his fellow Venezuelan. Huston Street survived a Baggy-induced triple to open the ninth, as Milton Bradley lost Michael Cuddyer's routine fly in the cursed Metrodome roof, and flashed his balls of steel by not melting down, as he's had an unfortunate tendency to do against worse teams than the Cinderella Twinkies. End result, 3-2 A's win, 1-0 series lead.

Barry Zito, aside from blogging about the entire post-season experience, also got in on the whole Balls of Steel thing with eight gritty innings to match Santana's. 1-0 isn't anything to pop the champagne corks about, and 2-0 wasn't safe for the A's 3 years ago, but beating Santana is huge. HUGE. Esteban Loaiza goes tomorrow in an attempt to put the A's firmly in the driver's seat before they go home to McAfee, which will be undoubtedly as loud as (or louder, once you factor in the drummers) the Baggydome.

Now, confession time: I didn't watch the game. Not a pitch. Not an inning. I can't handle pressure, and I felt that if we lost here, we were doomed from the outset. I'm still trying not to hope too much - we still have to win two more, and God only knows what can happen in baseball.

My inner optimist is coming out and hopefully snuffling at the air, all the while waiting for the big bad pessimist to return. I don't know what's going to happen, but.... GO ATHLETICS!!! If you see a girl walking around campus at SLC wearing a) an A's jersey, b) an autographed A's home hat, c) an A's AL West Champs shirt, d) an A's ALDS hat, or e) any combination of these, it's definitely me.

-------

As for the Cards, their game today was all that a very, very nervous Redbird fan such as myself could hope to see. Chris Carpenter turned in a high-quality outing to open the set with the Friars of San Diego, lasting 6.1 innings and allowing 1 run on five hits, with one walk and seven strikeouts. Tyler Johnson finally got command of his finicky slider and worked an inning and a third in relief before handing it off to Adam Wainwright (no words needed. Please pardon this post for a moment):

I SWOON FOR ADAM WAINWRIGHT

But you knew that, right? ;)

Anyway, Adam's stuff was filthy, he came out as pumped as ever, and dispatched of the Padres with a mixture of an absolutely sick curveball and some high-90s heat. We have a closer, and he is GOOD. It's awesome to see. I will wear my Adam shirt to bed tonight with even more pride than usual. :D

As for the offense and defense, they also showed up. Albert Pujols, El Hombre, Yo Daddy, or simply GOD, whichever is easiest to remember, got new life after Mike Piazza (one of the worst defensive catchers in the game, and absolutely hopeless at catching base-stealers) dropped a harmless foul pop. Albert retaliated by taking a fat Jake Peavy offering downtown for a 2-0 Birdie lead, which Carp ensured was never lost. A couple other Cards made contributions as well, most notably Jimmy Edmonds, who had two base hits after returning from post-concussion syndrome. Great to see... I love Jimmy and I'm thrilled that he's back for the postseason.

But the defense was exceptional and may have saved the Redbirds' behind in a major way. Ronnie Belliard made a spectacular sprawling catch and throw from his back to stab a sure-ticket 2-RBI single and end the inning, after Johnson was cleaning up Carp's slight mess in the bottom of the seventh. And Albert flashed the leather (he can field, hit, and use the Force... don't mess with this man) to end the inning after Adam came in and to take an RBI single away from Piazza.

Of course, this is baseball, so everything could change tomorrow. But for a fan nervous that her teams were both going to get steamrolled in the first round, it's good to see. It's also interesting to see all the pundits who predicted a 3-game sweep by the Padres stumble over themselves to mention how good the Cards still are and how they shouldn't be discounted so easily. Try this on for size, talking heads: The Cards are 7-0 in postseason play against the Padres going back to 1996, I believe, and have owned the NL West this season.

Side note: I have a terrible baseball addiction. I was trying to read Part I of Spinoza's Ethics for philosophy class (tomorrow, so I really needed to get it done) and at the same time, I watched the entire Yankees/Tigers game. I don't like either team and would be happy to see them both out of it (although I hope the Tiggers make it to the ALCS, since they'd be easier for the A's). However, that is unlikely. Getting swept by the Royals at home to end the season and cough up the AL Central crown does not bode well for postseason glory.

With slightly more optimism than yesterday, * I close this post with:

LET'S GO OAKLAND!!!!!!
LET'S GO ST. LOUIS!!!!!!


* until Esteban Loaiza and Jeff Weaver probably get shelled tomorrow and send me plunging back to ground zero

An Addendum to Agony

Posted after a little time to chill out, talk to my sister, and get myself psyched up about playing softball for the SLC Gryphons. Which is going to be awesome.

I own two Cardinals T-shirts, one Wainwright and one Carpenter. I usually wear my Wainwright T-shirt to bed, but tonight I'm going to wear Carp. Just because I still love him, even after a really tough outing. The precise reason that this was so gut-wrenching to watch is because you know it didn't have to be that way, because it usually isn't. Chris Carpenter is a stud and he and Albert Pujols make me proud to be a Cardinals fanatic.

I've had some time to mellow, and while this loss is still awful, it'll be okay. It really will. We're still going to clinch the Central, and if that's are far as we go... well, that's okay. No one's really expecting us to do anything else, and if we do go farther, I'll be ecstatic. But I can't help but love them, and that's why baseball rocks my little world.

I'm going to peace out and get some sleep, because I have class early tomorrow and it's philosophy, I want my mind to be fresh. So to bed I go, and I love my Redbirds, because I can't do anything but.

My Heart Has Been Torn Out Of My Chest, Stomped On, And Eaten Raw By Cannibals Before My Eyes

Sports fanaticism is not a good thing for a person. I mean it. The emotional turmoil it puts you through is just too much.

Earlier today, I was riding pretty high. Rich Harden came back to make his triumphant return for the A's after eight zillion years on the DL, and pitched 3 innings, allowing 2 hits, 1 run, and racking up 7 strikeouts. That's right - 7 of his 9 outs were of the K variety, and his only mistake was grooving a straight fastball to Grady Sizemore, who's a good player and doesn't miss it when you put it right in his wheelhouse. Other than that, everything was sunshine and warm fuzzies in Oakland today, as the A's took 3 of 4 from the Chief Wahoo Crew and cut that ever-important magic number down to 4, sporting a 7-game lead as the LAAAAAAA roll into town for a three-game weekend set. If the A's win two of three, they'll get to clinch on their home turf in front of their biggest rivals. Ahhhh, that would be so wonderful.

So why the nihilistic title? Mainly because tonight's recent events have me feeling as if exactly that has happened to me, maybe even adding a sledgehammer into the equation somewhere.

Situation: Cardinals have a 5-game lead in the NL Central, with the same magic number. They're not playing that well, but it's all right; there's nobody playing well enough to challenge them and they're going to take home the hardware eventually. So why the pain?

Let's start by setting the scene. 5-4 Cardinals, bottom of the eighth, two out, man on second. Chris Carpenter is trying to gut out one more out after a (for him) subpar outing. He's given up 4 runs already, two of them coming on a home run by Lance "Fat Elvis" Berkman, who has always hit Carp well and who was the author of the blast that put the 'Stros ahead in NLCS Game 5 last year before Prince Albert worked his three-run walkoff magic against Brad Lidge, who's never been the same since. (See: Jose Alberto Pujols is God. Amen).

And for some reason, Tony La Russa had a total brainlock and didn't walk Berkman. First base was already open. Carpenter sets him up with a steady diet of cutters, runs a two-seamer in, and gets to 3-2. I'm dying. Carp throws the cutter again, which Berkman was either sitting on or has hit Carp well enough to guess his pitch selection. Takes it downtown. 6-5 Astros, just like that, and the Cards go quietly against Dan Wheeler in the ninth, Phil Garner not being a brave enough man to risk Lidge against his personal pack of nemeses.

So why the pain? A) I want more than anything to see Carpenter take home his second straight Cy award. His numbers are outstanding by any yardstick you use, and he's top of the heap in pretty much any category. After that loss, he's even still 15-7 with a 2.93 ERA. But as the NL Cy race is a two-horse contest between him and Brandon Webb of the D-backs, he needs absolutely everything he can get.

Secondly: Home-field advantage is incredibly important for the Cards in any playoff series, and they need to keep winning (and have the Dodgers and Padres lose) in order to secure it. Carpenter is a manbeast at home, registering a 1.46 ERA, but he's more human on the road, even mediocre, posting a 4.52 mark (that's undoubtedly gone up after tonight's debacle). Having him start the opening game of any series at New Busch is something that the Cards desperately need, especially as their rotation after Carp is pick-and-choose junk. Suppan has been very good, with a 2.27 ERA since the break, but after that, you descend into the wilderness of Reyes (wild, tendency to get pounded) Weaver (spotty and totally unpredictable) and Marquis (total worthlessness). They need to jump out to that early lead to hang on with whatever they throw out there.

And for purely selfish reasons, this loss feels like a kick in the gut. I'll admit it, I fucking love Chris Carpenter. I must have a thing for tall, gray-eyed, unbearably adorable Cardinals power pitchers, who possess ERAs of 2.93 and 2.92, respectively, and are the aces of a) the rotation and b) the bullpen.

If you guessed Carp and Adam Wainwright, you are, naturally, right on the mark. The two Cards shirts I own are #29 Carpenter and #50 Wainwright. Carpenter became a desperate favorite of mine this season, for whatever reason, even after his Cy campaign last year. Maybe it's his sensational smile and nice-guy demeanor, the fact that I love to watch him baffle hitters, or simply that I'm blindly biased in a pro-Cards direction, but I freakin' adore that man. He's a stud. Even tonight. Watching that happen - especially since the whole of Cardinals Nation was screaming for an IBB of Berkman and Tony completely missed the memo. It didn't have to happen. Luke Scott, the hitter right after Berkman, popped out on the second pitch he saw.

Complete game from Carp, giving up 2 runs to people not named Lance Berkman. He's the only hitter on the Astros, and he knows Carp well - as demonstrated. Absolutely no reason to pitch to him in that situation, and despite all La Russa's assurances that he's not trying to pad Carp's case for a repeat Cy, I have to wonder if there was a little of that going on tonight.

I know that Carp's the ace, but Berkman has his number. Ackn0wledge that fact. Since Adam was anointed the new closer after Isringhausen's departure, if you absolutely must pitch to Berkman, then put Adam in to do it.

This one hurt. This one really, really hurt. The Cards will clinch eventually, but it would be bittersweet if it came at the expense of home-field advantage and they went out quietly in the first round.

Crawling-off-and-crying time now.

Jose Alberto Pujols is God. Amen.

Sorry for the ridiculous third post in a row within a matter of hours - I must seem like one of those stream-of-consciousness people, which I'm not. And I've never been accused of loquacity either, so this probably comes as a surprise and won't happen again once I get over the first transcendent high of new bloggerdom. But I couldn't let this pass unremarked, and especially not after the gut-wrenching loss that the A's just suffered at the hands of the Twinkies. I happened to look up at the St. Louis game, which I was following only marginally after Jeff Weaver screwed the pooch, and noticed that the final score was Cards 6, Astros 5. It had been 5-4 Astros going into the bottom of the ninth, and I had just braced myself for that devastating double-loss day when neither of my teams can get their heads out of their collective asses and instead meekly hand the game to the other team. Nes pas, when Albert Pujols is in the building.

In case you are not aware, Brad Lidge (Astros closer) is Albert's bitch. I will never forget watching NLCS Game 5 on a television purloined from my grandmother (in our defense, she was out of town and would have had no objection even if she did know) and watching Albert launch that colossal moonshot in the top of the ninth to win the game for the Cards. My sister and I jumped out of our seats and danced around ecstatically. Seriously. Then Mark Mulder, who's fast slipping in my good graces after his terrible season this year, gave it up in Game 6, but you know. Can't have everything and all that.

So, El Hombre worked his magic once again tonight. Two runners on, two out, Cards trying not to follow up Chris Carpenter's gem with a Weaver-piloted clunker. Albert yanks one to left field, Busch Stadium goes berserk, happy feelings abound. Except, not if you're Brad Lidge, and have been presented with resounding proof that you are, in fact, still Albert Pujols' bitch.

That's gotta be in his head for a loooong time now.

Roy Oswalt vs. Jason Marquis tomorrow. My usual expectation of Marquis is that he will suck, and I'm usually not disappointed in this regard. Right now, please join me in this heartfelt and entirely unsarcastic plea:

LET'S GO CHICAGO WHITE SOX!!!!!!

(why, you might ask? They are playing the LaAAAaAAA, only one of the most evil teams on earth).