Friday, October 27, 2006

Playoffs, Day 13: An Ode to Adam

Having been bombarded by bad bloggery and putrid photoshoppping, prepare yourself for the advent of VILE VERSE!

(And yes, you've figured out that my date headers are in no way relative to the actual days of the playoffs, just when I remember to blog about them).

Curveball buckling at the knees
Go ahead and swing, but hit it? Please!
You are gone, bitch, gone wit'out a fight
You don't know who it is; it's ADAM WAINWRIGHT

Man stands six-foot-seven, he's as skinny as a pole
Stop talkin' about hittin' him; yeah, shut your damn hole
He's going to wind up and put that Yellow Hammer in there
Stand up there if you want, even swing the bat if you dare.

We got him from Atlanta and we snagged him for a song
(Remember J.D. Drew? We're glad that he's gone)
It's just a beautiful sight when the man in number fifty
Comes out there and does his thing; he's really kinda nifty.

You may have noticed that I have a total Adam obsession
I can't go without mentioning him each blogging session
That's because the man is amazing, and also hot as hell
If he'd just wear his socks like Anthony Reyes, all would be well.

The World Series has come down to this mind-bending fact:
The Cardinals have easily fended off the Tigers' "attack"
And after the heroics of Runt Eckstein and Adam my man
The "scrappy underdog Cardinals" are the "Cardinals who can."

If tomorrow comes and Jeff Weaver does not do very badly
Every Redbird fan will explode from their chair and shout very gladly
For we would have nailed down championship twice-five
The last time they did it, I wasn't even alive.

So all I can do at this point is to cheer and to cheer
And hold my breath tightly as the moment draws near
I'd say that I'm turning blue, but that isn't quite true
As a matter of fact instead I'm turning a lovely shade of RED!


1 comment:

Athena said...

Hilary, my dear, you crack me up. I probably shouldn't be reminding you that Adam DID give up the tying run in the eighth...but you definitely need some perspective. ;)

Anyway, the game itself was excruciating to watch because Suppan has got to be the slowest pitcher in the history of baseball. I'm serious. But the Cards won, so...that's all good.