Thursday, September 14, 2006

Articles of Interest

Let us put a face to the shadowy Internet presence with Ethernet connection and Inspiron laptop. Let us plumb the darkness of ignorance and this black template thing that I've got going on. Let us strip aside the flesh and excavate the bone, let us dig into the cadaver and --

Let us get off this particularly undelightful metaphor and do the introduction, shall we?

About Me. I am eighteen years old and a woman, although on occasion I have been mistaken for being a) in my mid-to-late twenties and b) a boy. In my defense, I am not boyish-looking at all, but I am five-foot-ten and broad-shouldered, and at the time of the sad misidentification incident(s), I was usually wearing some piece of disguising clothing such as a ski helmet and goggles, and/or a bike helmet and sunglasses. Must be something about the protective gear.

I like music - in fact I can't live without it. I like chocolate, as most everyone with two X chromosomes does. I write because it is my life and the words would never leave me alone if I did not. I architect and manipulate and sculpt and battle. I love the English language, with the way you can piece it together into poetry like turning a kaleidoscope, and I believe there is a special place in hell for people who write "alway's fresh" on grocery-store signs or "As it looked around, it's eyes flared" in schlocky fantasy novels. I am an apostrophe defender, a grammarian warrior, and have adopted Lynn Truss' zero-tolerance policy toward punctuation. Do it right, the end.

I am deeply in love with baseball for reason having nothing to do with a) an interest in other women, or b) a fervent desire to get the players drunk and then sleep with them. Don't get me wrong, I definitely appreciate the aesthetic aspects, and there are some players that I would go for - but only if they talked to me first. ;) I am not a slut. I don't drink, do drugs, or smoke. However, when I fell for baseball, I was seven years old, far too young to notice such things as the fact that Brad Hawpe has a fine, fine ass. The love of baseball, just baseball as the sport, stayed with me as I grew up. No need to reiterate my teams - you know them already.

What else do I like? I like cold winter days and attractive men. I like inventing wildly when given a modicum of truth to start with. I like staying up until 3:00 AM and waking up at noon. I like my sleep in general. I am deeply sympathetic to the liberal side of things in America, and have relatively little patience for Republicans, who are the running punch line in my family's house.

I have been kissed by someone that I didn't like but I have kissed someone that I did. I am cynical, cheerful, easy-going, funny, sarcastic, and occasionally reclusive. I am perfectly content to spend hours with only the creatures of my imagination for company. I would rather go home and work on my writing than go out to a party and get wasted. I like having the freedom to do what I want. I am a very responsible person in general but I like to drive fast. I miss the sunshine of Colorado and my younger sister, my best friend. But I am excited beyond measure to be where I am and now I really must work on philosophy.

1 comment:

Russ said...

I'm obsessed with grammar and punctuation as a result of having worked two years on my high school's yearbook. I worked on the project with the teacher in charge and only one other student to meet the myriad deadlines. It was riddled with a number of mistakes. Of course, no one really noticed those problems because. . . if I continue with that I'll just make some people sound stupid.

Anyway, that's why you might see something I post at Purple Row for a moment and then a little while later have something entirely different in its place.